Por: Marcela Cruz 

For a long time I searched for the meaning of self-love

What does it look like? I asked myself

Did I have self-love?

And for a while self-love looked like

A romantic bath, alone time,

Soybean candles and jazz songs.

I thought it was a meni and a pedi on the weekend with your girlfriends,

A warm chai in your favorite coffee shop,

Or an oats face masks in a Saturday evening

And, yes, self-love looks like that

But self-love is also when you try to remove yourself from a hurtful situation even if leaving is as hurtful as staying in it.

On occasions it's stopping to meet other people's expectations portrayed over yourself and deciding who you want to be in this world.

Self-love it's deciding when you've had enough and you start setting unbreakable boundaries towards how other people treat you.

It's also when you stop beating yourself about your past, your poor decision making and your old toxic ways, recognizing they are bittersweet lessons that have made you wiser.

Loving yourself is enduring discipline to reach a goal you have been postponing and knowing that your growth is not a race, that you cannot compare a bean from a coffee plant.

Self-love is always peaking around the corner listening carefully how you speak to yourself either with kindness or roughness

To build yourself

Or to destroy you.